Choices

In case the picture is not clear, that's the online application for admission to UTP for postgradute. I have been filling this form for 3 times already but haven't got the guts yet to submit, and I am still not sure. This is dad's idea, of course.

Time for Solat Istikharah, I think.

Signature

I am sure all of us have changed our signatures from time to time. I was renewing my ATM pin the other day (because I forgot my ATM pin) and need to sign some forms. So I used my current signature but it was not accepted because my signature when I signed up for the account was different.

I mean, I was only 13 yrs old at that time. Apa2 pun, everything went well and I got a new ATM card. (After more than 4 months not being able to withdraw money from my account, Ha ha)

My signature when I was 13. (Not so accurate). But acceptable. When I was 13 I just signed however I want, and it must be a fancy one, which explains the curly style.


This, I am sure, my UTP friends are familiar with. I changed my signature because I need an easy signature, for my friends to sign the attendance list whenever I can't come to class. Hiks2.


This one is the most recent signature. Haha. I have to change my signature when I joined the working world, especially since I need to sign papers, docs, letters to government agencies and stuff. So I discarded the childish signature of my name and made a new one. Oh, another important thing is it must be easy to forge too, in case other staffs need me to sign any papers but I was not available.

p/s : Going back home next week. Can't wait!

Big Deal?

Disclamation : This post contains a lot of whines

You know, being a final year is distressing;

Initial thought "Ooh, I will be a final year student soon, I can bully the juniors, I can be and look superior because I am the senior, people will have to respect me, I will have more free time because there will be less classes and only final year project to focus on"

Yeah right. So much of the free time. Have to spend your free times in the lab doing labour works, and if you're lucky got someone to help you (in my case, boyfriend and housemates). Ok fine, not all those final year projects require you to go to lab and do heavy stuffs, there also those topics where you can develop software, things blablabla. But frankly, I dont regret in choosing my FYP topic because I prefer working with something substantial rather than working on software, but then, both categories are difficult.

That is only the beginning, being a final year student you have to think about your plans for the future, what you are going to do as soon as you step out of the uni and if you want to continue with your education, take MSc.

People would be thinking us Petronas scholars would be guaranteed with jobs at the Petronas but no, we actually have to attend some sort of tests, interviews and stuffs. And being a final year student means you would be worrying about who will employ you (if Petronas decides not to hire you) and how you would survive in the scary world out of the uni since you have been comfortable inside the compounds of uni, everything provided to you, given to you.

And oh, not to mention your parents expectation on you. Especially for the first childrens.

So you see how distressing it is being a final year student?? *hyperventilate* I bet my classmates will say the same thing too.

Ok, so I should stop worrying about the future and first decide if I would want to continue and take MSc instead of going straight into the industry.

Pros of taking MSc;
-Higher education
-Higher pay
-Higher standards (wow)

Cons;
-Studying, dunno if I can take more of that
-Stuck in uni for at least a couple of years in addition
-You have to do extensive research and be hardworking

Talked to mom about this, she said "You dont have to worry about working life yet, what you should consider is if you still want to study"

She got a point there, but I still worry about the future, I am usually the go-with-the-flow type, but I cant help worrying about this. Thinking about talking to the sponsorship officers about the sponsorship options and also some lecturers about this. But the thing is, am I even qualified for this kind of thing? Hm.

On an irrelevant note, I dont dare look at baby's pictures anymore, in case if it would make me miss him too much.

At least, I am sure of this future, will graduate from uni in less than a year.

Ha, been a long time since I have ideas to write. Ok, byebye.

p/s : Would appreciate some advice from friends too :)

Liar liar pants on fire

It's free period (930am)

Back to reality, back to utp. Utp's LAN internet connection still sucks more than assholes suckers out there. Cannot sign in to any instant messaging, YM, MSN (mcm lah sign msn lagik), Gtalk, Skype, nada, nil. But then access to the other websites is better, I think. Spent the first few days in Shah Alam and arrived at utp on saturday. Been missing home the minute I boarded the flight to KLIA. I miss mother, father, my siblings, my babies (bobo and tam-tam), friends, and the foooooddd.

And it is my final year, I am still not used to juniors calling me 'kakak'. Think I'll ask them not to call me kakak next time (I'm forever 17).

But but but... the best thing this semester is 90% of my housemates are Sarawakians! Kenaknya xbest oh??!! Still, it is not the same as home, home is heaven compared to utp. Now now don't deny it I know it is true. And and and.... my friends said that I look slimmer. Hahahaha suk aie. It means that I'm not 'short and chubby' like my sis's friend commented. Dah gik eh. Inggarrr aku

Tido2

p/s : I realized that I lied a lot lately :(

Perbezaan

Cinta zaman budak-budak

• sanggup belanja RM5 untuk beli set surat dan sampul yang berbunga-bunga dan tulis ayat cintan-cintan lepas tu letak dalam desk dia (masa tu duit poket sehari hanya RM2-RM3), siap letak perfume ibu atau bedak wangi supaya surat tu berbau wangi
  
• mula-mula malu nak jumpa, bila dah jumpa tak tahu nak borak pasal apa
• berbalas-balas surat padahal masa tu sama sekolah takpun sama kelas
• tidur ditemani gambar si dia
  

Cinta zaman remaja

• dah tahu erti borak-borak serba sedikit dengan si dia
• bila rasa tak serasi, cari orang lain yang lebih serasi dan tinggalkan si dia untuk orang lain tu :P
  
• dah ada telefon mudah alih, sudah mula berjinak-jinak dengan sistem pesanan ringkas
• belum dapat lagi untuk bertelefon sesuka hati sebab duit terhad untuk beli 'top-up'
• kalau nak telefon, telefon guna talian tetap dirumah sampai kena bayar RM1k. (ibu bapa yang kena bayar) LOL
  

Cinta zaman dewasa :P

• sudah ada duit masuk setiap bulan, maka boleh bertelefon 2-3 kali setiap minggu (itu pun kalau jauh antara satu sama lain)
• sudah tahu erti membeli hadiah yang mahal-mahal untuk si dia. jam 'Guess', Perfume
• setia dengan si dia untuk masa yang lama berbanding dengan zaman sebelumnya (dan moga berkekalan selama nya, Amin)
• sudah boleh berpacaran ke bandar kerana sudah ada lesen kereta dan untuk orang-orang yang bertuah, kereta
• sudah membuat perancangan untuk hari perkahwinan, atau berapa orang anak yang dikehendaki, tempat berbulan madu, etc.

p/s : harus menempuhi 14 hari lagi sebelum berjumpa si dia!!

two oh one oh

let us do our yearly routine shall we?

this year's res;

-to complete my prayers five times a day Not Check!! :(
-to be in the dean's list Not check also :((

-to be a less agressive driver Check!! I think so

-to stop stereotyping, or judge people easily Check~

and the long awaited cliche.. the new years res;

-sekda resolutions!! hahahaha.. ive decided to go with the flow LOL see what's in store for me in 2010

and recapping the last ten years that ive been living (got this idea from Ejant (kamek tiru post kitak ejant makseh) and Rose)
2000
Sat the UPSR examination and as everybody expected I got 5As not a big deal anyway. Was in a puppy love with a classmate. Formed a gang called Gengster Mayat. poyossssiallll.. :P

And oh, broke my front tooth a bit because I fell head first onto the tiled canteen floor and lucky me the tooth made contact with the tile first not my nose. (I jumped from one canteen table to another because apparently at that time I thought I'm a monkey)

2001
Entered Kolej D.P.A.H Abdillah, "1 Biru" was my class. The class monitor is Taufiq who at that time is cute (at least to me). First time meeting friends like Dena, Pyah, Preq, Rezal and the others. The store at the back of the class was our favourite place to hang out although it was stuffy and small.

Stayed in the hostel and met my roommates, Eppy, Siti and the others. It was my first time staying in hostel and mother had to come like twice a week to collect my laundry and iron my uniforms. Hehe. But I still felt homesick and cried in the toilet for the first few weeks LOL.

2002
"2 Biru" Sat beside Florida and we had fun because all we did was fool around in the class bullying people. Because we laughed and talked so much, we didnt even pay attention to the teachers, we were told to get out from the class and to stand outside by our Geography teacher but we sneaked junkfoods out and sat on the cement floor and happily demolished the junkfoods while the others have to bear with the boredom in class.

Fell in "love" with Rezal, my friend also my classmate. Didnt last long tho because I was so fickle that I fell in "love" yet again with a senior. Lupak dah namanya LOL

And also the "tragedy" hahaha. Crying on the staircase and all...Kimennn I still feel like swearing everytime I remembered THAT time. Sapa2 tauk diam jak.

2003
Burrrr..THE PMR. Not that bad tho, considering that I still dont take my studies seriously. Got 7As and 1B. Got B for the Agama paper. Yala, Agama paper was easy peasy yada yada yada at least to you guys but for me it was the most difficult subject to score even for B. Mayb its my punishment for bullying people too much.

And not forgetting I was the class monitor weeeweee weeee hahahaha.. And it's the first time that I'm in the same class with Nora.

Oh I changed my boyfriend already, my boyfriend at that time was K-Jeman. Thought he was handsome at that time (urgh he's actually not that handsome) but by the end of the year he cheated on me! Padan muka aku for being so fickle the previous year. I literally bawled when I knew he cheated on me but then I got over it pretty quickly.

2004
Selected as the Operations Manager for the PUM school club (PUM stands for Persatuan Usahawan Muda), so was busy doing extra curricular activities and not forgetting busy bullying the English teacher, Miss Nadiah (I will remember her until the day I die because Nora and I skipped her class more than we attend them)

And this year also I felt like having lots of extra curricular certs is very important to get into the university (besides good grades) so I joined not only the PUM club, but also the Kelab Pelancongan, the Choir Club, Taekwondo activities..

This year was when I first got to know Aziz "the boy next door" coz he's from the class next to ours. LOL had a crush on him for the rest of the year.

2005
Aziz and I declared officially this year. Was soooo happy not only because I was in the same class with my besties (excluding one) but also I had the best boyfriend ever, at least, at that time.

Entered the state's competition for PUM clubs all over the state. Our team won and was automatically selected to represent the state for the national's. When we arrived at UPM for the competition I was like "we are shit compared to the others from the other states!" but still we did our best tho. And it was fun. Spend the rest of the trip at KL. Spend most of the time with Fareez and Afreeda, and got close with Fareez even after we got back to Kuching. Until now (kinda).

SPM!! I think it was one of my most depressing times. Lost of weight and the haggard look are no strangers during the exam. I remembered that I studied Add Maths non-stop for a few hours. Started to take flu pills just to make myself sleep and to avoid the anxiety for the coming exam.

2006
Got SPM result this year; 6A1s, 2A2s, and 3B3s.. And who can guess what paper I got B3.......

Thought when I got over the SPM exam I am free but how wrong I was and I have no idea that I was binding myself when I signed the contract with Petronas. Tho I SHOULD be thankful that at least I get steady allowance and all that.

First time set foot in UTP I was like, "where the hell was the beautiful buildings that they bragged about?" (our educamp was in MRSM Kuching) :P

Grabbed every opportunity to enjoy myself, who cares about the tests, quizzes, exams, assingments? :P Did lots and lots of shopping.

Was in a long-distance relationship with Aziz and it got hard when he was in the National Service because I could only contact him on the weekends. I remembered the huge row about how I was being so selfish and not caring about him at all. It was a hard time.

And we broke up at the end of the year. What a tragic way to end the year. Huh

2007
Started the first year for Civil Engineering. The studies got harder but I still havent realized that I need to be more serious about my studies. Still got time to go to Ipoh, watch movies and shopping.

Havent got over Aziz yet and was still depressed especially during holidays or when I was not surrounded by friends. Still depending on flu pills and at times, on sleeping pills.

Got myself into trouble by associating with some seniors. At that time, I thought my roomate hated me, my bestfriend hated me.. Felt really down but the senior was like an out for my situation at that time. Therefore it was pretty hard when I had to let him go.

My hero came and made me see sense so that I dont get into trouble anymore. Yeay!~~ :P

This year was a complete mess up.

2008
Boyfriend and me officially declared in February. Finally found my happiness back. :)

Started my second year of study, study got harder and I got more serious in study but still slacking in terms of results :(

Got closer with classmates, I think because of the study trips and the group work for assignments :)

Went lots and lots of outings with classmates; celebrate Eid's at Rafi's house went bowling and karaoke after. and yes we were in our baju kurungs (for the ladies). who the hell cares? hehe

2009
Already in my third year of study. Started the Engineering Team Project. We took the easy way by doing the project that our seniors have already done. Got only B for it :(

Prepared for industrial training. And with father's help got placement at Zecon Berhad. Placed at the Matang Site office for the Matang Highway Project. before i joined Zecon I had no idea that I am going to join a highway project not construction.

First time have to be independent, do things without boyfriend :( Felt so lonely at first but got used to it after a few months.

Hehe but happy all the same :)

Sekian terima kasih. Thats all, xie xie ni, arigatou, kotohuadan!

Happy New Year!

p/s : have to perah all my brain juice to remember back.

Deadlines.

I am de-stressing. Fuh fuh *takes deep breathes*

Just to remind myself (and others as well);

• Bored Pile Report - 98% done
  
• Site Assignment - next week - 0%
  
• Logbook - 5th Jan - 70%
  
• Presentation slides - 5th Jan - nil. nada% (!!)
• Final report - 24th Jan - nil. nada% (!!)
• Part time work - 19th Jan - nil. nada% !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and not forgetting moving over to a new apartment which includes lots of cleaning, packing, unpacking, and stuffs.

on a happier note, I still got time to go meronggeng and lots of sleep on the weekends <3

p/s : got my nails coloured in purple, mayb next time green or yellow. i <3.

and i like using this <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

the past

look what i found in my old photobucket account;

drama group discussion (my fav slipper in the background), 2006

fooling around with roommate, 2006

zaman kurus, 2006

siblings (minus amirul), 2005


camwhoring during lecture, 2006

and lots of pictures from the few years back. *sigh* i was thinner back then. (haha!) now i look like a a fat old lady. i wish life is more carefree like it was before. guess i wish for lots of things lately eh

what now?

i miss boyfriend so much that it got to the point where its painful just not to have him by my side.

bleargh. i half wished that we both applied for industrial training at kl instead of kuching but then maybe life will be harder living in kl. working life is boring, thats why i dont update much lately, and i dont get to go out with friends especially on weekdays bcoz i spend more than half of the day working and commuting to and from work, u see, when factored in the traffic jams and what with my house being far from town, the average time i spend on the road everyday is at least 4 hrs.

i guess i shudnt complain much tho, i know there are worse case than me out there :P

this morning i suddenly wish that harry potter is real and we all are living in the harry potter world. Voldermort u say? heheh. harry potter finished him off in the last book so i guess the harry potter world is pretty safe right now. heheh gila oh. adaka harry potter bena2. mayb im getting bored with my life so much right now that i thought of wishing such nonsense.

i hate to admit it but i miss utp and i miss my classmates. i really cant wait for this training to be over so that i can go back to utp and (go to class?) he. its not as if i was eager in attending classes :P anyway my point is student life is soooooo much better than working life.

okeh! im out of ideas already. better get to work asap. toodles

halfway home

tho i like to browse thru old pictures, i hate the feeling which comes after that; i will miss those people in the pictures a whole lot more than i was before.

i like this picture anyway;


candidkah? mcm candid. haha pa polah dena yaaaa

we're in the exam weeks now. and oh yeah, i have been deprived of internet for a few weeks, thats y i havent been updating my blog or my facebook :)

anyway internet is back, (which is hard to believe at first, too good to be true bah).

will be back to kuching next week and start my industrial training sometime in the middle of June. will be in the working arena soon. boohoo

oklah better go back to my revisions :P

kaki nota : happy belated bday to sepul and senah!

hello valentine's day

to say that so much had happened is an understatement.

with the staggering number of deaths of students from utp (mayb im exaggerating abit, but still..) for the last few months, i cant help but feel weird that life goes on, as if nothing had happened. another one died last monday; drowned in the waterfall in the nearby area. well, i dont really know how the story goes but u can know more from here and here.

and what with the chaos of the politics in Perak.. brrrr.. we are very fortunate that nothing else happened other than the usual demonstration against the resignation of the former MB.

as if its not enough, a group of people decided to complicate things more.. hehe

credit to Shira for the pic

maybe the message of this picture here is to warn people about how Valentine's (not valentine) Day is supposed to be haram for celebration, i mean we geddit, but the concept of the sentence is so wrong. "no valentine day, no fornication"? dont get me wrong, but if these people opened their eyes wider, they can see that fornication can happen almost everywhere, Valentine's Day or no Valentine's Day. come to think of it, it was pretty funny, the picture i mean. :P the girl malu2 plak nak ajak boyfriend dia to fornicate (?) haha...

and im not finished about the people complicating things more -apparently the citizens of the nearby housing estates had the nerve to write to our beloved bapak (the Rector la, haha) about how it is supposedly haram (again!) to organize an event on this Valentine's Day. they even threatened to have a demonstration and to complain about this matter to the Mufti Perak if the event is not cancelled, which is totally nonsense btw coz the organizing committee have worked so hard for this coming event. come on la, it makes a little bit of sense if they have protested on this event earlier, way earlier, before the organizing committees started their work on this event. to suddenly cancel the event, after months of hard work, is totally unfair. and to me, the date that the organizing committess chosen have nothing related to celebrate the V-Day, it just happens that it is the suitable date for their event.

in Sarawak, celebrating V-Day has never been an issue. tau2 sendiri la kan which is haram and which is not.

funny la how absurd Malaysians can be especially in East Malaysia. no offense tho :)

oh btw, the event is about Cultural Performance (FESCO) dunno what is the real name tho, will be going there with friends tonite (to show our support for the event, totally! and to enjoy ourselves of course) and i can assure you that there will be no fornication at the UTP Chancellor Hall later on during the event. haha :P

nyhoo... HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY BELOVED MAMI AND PAPI~~~~~~

mandik lok. bye folks.

packing

1400 - just came back from lunch. gotta start packing like it or not urgh

1430 - dump laundry in the washing machine

1500 - cleaning out the closet and i found a bit too many clothes that are long forgotten or that i havent even wear yet. oh those are the days. :P

1515 - took my taekwondo uniform from the hanger. its when i realized i miss taekwondo so much

1530 - found sayang's handkerchief. its a garfield's handkerchief! so cute. i wish i can keep it.

1617 - tried an old pair of jeans and it fits! hahah... i kept this jeans away bcoz it was to loose for me back then but now it fits. good thing that i have bigger bum than years before

1639 - went out for a while to do some errand

1742 - my parents are too overprotective!!!!!!

1824 - pounding and sitting on the luggage to cram everything in

1911 - took a shower

1930 - leaving. bye utp