Tuesday, May 27, 2008

trust issues

i dont get it why my father wont allow me to drive his car. its an mpv so u can guess the size of the car and i understand his worries about me driving a big car. i was a bit disappointed this morning as there was some emergency and i volunteered myself to drive the car but he asked my uncle instead. i mean, ive proven that im responsible enough, being his eldest daughter but i still cant get it. but honestly ive driven the car for more than a couple of times already and i handled it well, on top of that i never did anything to gain his mistrust or anything ive never even been in an accident some more, so why does he have to practically ban me from the steering wheel? ...apart from the fact that i dont have my licence yet. urgh, does it matter? driving licence is just a piece of laminated paper, it wont guarantee ur driving skills. you hv to agree me on this, because it seems like im the only one who doesnt have a driving licence yet. grrr....

one more thing that bugs me is these images of my boyfriend going out with another girl and kissing her and touching her and.... dont get me started. this images keep popping in my head i cant stop it and i have the feeling that sayang doesnt want to reply my sms, tho he replied it most of the times but reluctantly i guess. i just might as well tell him and get this worries over with but i dont dare to ask him for fear that he might think that im doubting him which is true, right? i mean whats up with that, he never did anything wrong that makes me doubt him but the little insecure feeling grew to a paranoia since i arrived at kuching. and his reluctance of replying my sms and answering my cal makes me feel like my theory is true than ever T_T

and since sayang has so many girl friends... T_T

and he's lonely, now that im not there.. T_T

surely he needs female companion..

and go out with one of his girl friend...

and the innocent hanging out becomes something more... T_T

what if he leaves me for the girl... T_T

im getting far already..

now, u see what i mean by being paranoid???

and to think that im going to be farther away than him tomorrow because i going to sabah to attend my cousin's wedding. its ironic, bcoz her ex is going to get married in kedah on the exact same day. i wonder if they did it on purpose. hah.

im tired. like literally tired. its not even the 5th day in kuching and yet im off to sabah.

*double sigh*

Sunday, May 25, 2008

truth hurts

i ran out of pictures to post.

a few things bfore i jump on the plane to go back to my hometown :
  • ive got less than 12 hours to clean up all the mess at my place and pack -make it, less than 6 hours.
  • ive finally did the unthinkable thing that i thought i wud never do; made an account at facebook, they say its the 'in' thing now so i wanna see how 'in' is the thing to me, so far i still havent figured out how to use it, oh i know eventually i'll get bored with it and delete my account.
  • i feel like half of my wardrobe is not mine anymore or i accidentally exchanged them with someone with a smaller size or mayb its bcoz my body is getting wider or larger. ok la FAT laaaaa. seriously bah, mcm xcayak but it is happening
  • oh, the reason that i havent done any packing yet -went for a midnite movie with classmates
  • actually, i am heading home... reluctantly. every step
  • bcoz u know, im gonna be far away from sayang for max 2 months and i know im gonna miss him so much waaa!!! freaking out dy.
  • oh and u know what, my english is terrible lately, dunno what has happened
  • a part of me dont wanna leave but the other part is urging me to go back coz i miss home too
  • the excruciating, painful, full with anxiety, uncertainty, tiredness (exam week) week is over.. thank god
  • yeah, balit kch klk mok ngabas the spring (lom pg gk, tedah x)
  • well, i still havent done any packing but i have the time to blog. ah, bliss
bye everyone, bye tronoh, bye perak (oh yes, goodbye and good riddance)

Thursday, May 15, 2008

better never than late


1. Already done this


  1. Cockroaches
  2. Losing my loved ones
  3. Having to repeat any subjects or fail any subject its the same
  4. Not getting what i want so much
  5. Death
  6. Police, their very existence scares me -dont ask me why
  7. Hantu tetek. hahahahahahaahahah
  1. Rihanna - Take A Bow
  2. Radiohead - Creep
  3. Sheila On 7 - Buat Aku Tersenyum
  4. Avenged Sevenfold - A Little Piece Of Heaven
  5. Duffy - Mercy
  6. Paramore - My Heart
  7. The Rain - Dengar Bisikku
  1. Manede
  2. Cibai
  3. ahahaha...........
  4. U decide.
  5. Oooo...
  6. I love you
  7. I miss you
  1. My glasses - now that i realized im getting blind!!
  2. My bantal busuk
  3. My towel busuk
  4. Er... My sayang bucuk? hahah..
  5. My Scientific Calculator - cannot sit for exam doe if i dont have my calculator
  6. My family and friends
  7. My health since i got so little of it right now
  1. Changed my perception towards people here in east malaysia
  2. eh ntah lah.

ada paper esok and i think im gonna flunk it. tell me that im wrong... :((((

Monday, May 12, 2008

<3 <3 <3

jiwang alert.

whats up with the title? (sukati aku lah aku mpun blog)

kadang aku berfikir
dapatkah kita terus cuba
mendayung perahu kita
menyatukan ingin kita

sedang selalu saja
khilaf yang kecil mengusik
bagai angin berhembus kencang
goyangkan kaki kita

genggam tanganku jangan bimbang
tak usah lah lagi dikenang
naif diri yg pernah datang
jadikan pelajaran sayang

dengar bisikkan ku oh dinda
cuba lapangkan dada kita
terima aku apa ada nya
jujur hati yang kita jaga

mengapa selalu saja
khilaf yg kecil mengusik
bagai ombak yang besar
goyangkan kaki kita

genggam tanganku jangan bimbang
tak usahlah lagi dkenang
naif diri yang pernah datang
jadikan pelajaran sayang
dengar bisikkan ku oh dinda
cuba lapangkan dada kita
terima aku apa ada nya
jujur hati yang kita jaga

bila gundah mu tak menghilang
hentikan dulu dayung kita
bila kau ingin lupakan aku
ku tak tahu apalah daya

taken from; The Rain - Dengar Bisikku

p/s : tok lagu feveret denaaa and i even got this song from dena's cd. "stole" the cd for a while hahaha..

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Eventful Day

Happy Mother's Day to my beloved mother! I love you, umi.. (cant find her picture in the laptop.. how come??)

Happy 20th Birthday to Senah and Happy Belated 20th Birthday to Sepul! (cant find Senah's picture too, aiyo how comeeee??).

I love you senah, i love you sepul.. :)

huhu, tba2 jak rasa rindu eh. gne tok?? makan donut lah. byebye

Saturday, May 10, 2008

cant stop

i have been consuming more than a dozen of these for the past few days;

becoming more like a doughnut myself? yeah.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

life is daily

the class' trip to the temenggor dam and bersia dam

girls' day out

today is the 5th of May.... 0505.... hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!

i gila? u la gila!