there is something wrong...

when the one that often makes you happy and smile everyday is not your own boyfriend.

all i can do is try

to be frank, ive opened the editor to update the blog quite a number of times already, but ended up closing the browser everytime without updating anything. is this what they called the writer's block?

eid is near, (almost) everyone is excited to go back home, some even had gone home before the holiday starts. to me, its the same every year, same gathering (not that i mind), same food, same people.. ive been getting more and more messed up lately i dont even know what had been making me sad anymore. the hectic weeks are over for now, now that the holiday is starting, but the lecturers also dont miss the chance to give us as many assignments and homeworks as they can. i wonder if they know what's the meaning of holidays, or mayb these utp lecturers never really had holidays so no wonder la they give us piling assignments kan, tension jak!!!!!!!!!!! huh

i only drank a mug of cereal drink and glasses of warm water for sahur. getting lazier to prepare food for sahur by day. i remember when i was at home, i used to complain that i have no appetite to have sahur meals even if at that time mother had prepared fried chicken, some veggies, and a little bit more but i still didnt have the appetite to eat. but now that im here, i realized how i really miss mother's food and how i really should appreciate it when it was there right in front of me huhuhuhuhu :( whats that saying again? about people taking granted of what they have blablabla.... oh, you dont even know what you got until its gone. thats right

my flight to kuching is not until tomorrow, i have more than 24-hours to settle everything in utp before i go back home, and why am i not excited to go back home this time..? -_-"" eid this year is going to be a lot less fun, what with some friends not going back and the short holiday.

seriously..... i have no idea what else to write. bye

what we shouldnt be

please dont give me any reason to fall out of love with you

please dont let anyone else win over my heart

please

:)

He's a Keeper!

Your guy is a rare find: sweet, kind, and loyal. And as long as he doesn't have three nipples, You should seriously consider keeping him a long time Sometimes a girl can't see a good thing when she's got one So let me tell you: your guy is a gold medal boyfriend Just make sure you treat him right in return!

Is He a Keeper?

thats why i love my boyfriend so much lalalalala

taggity tag

tagged by syara.

Dream wedding.This is a survey about your dream wedding, whether it be in the next year or after ten years. So, please answer after you read, the person who answered this before you took a great deal of effort.

1. How old are you?
19

2. Are you single?
nonononono

3. In what age do you think you'll get married?
ask kamal.

4. Do you think you'll be marrying the person you are with now?
yea. i hope so.

5. If not, who do you want to marry?
James McAvoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6. Do you want a garden/beach or a traditional wedding?
Traditional ya gne? hehe

7. Your ideal motive?
dunno la

8. Where do you plan to go on a honeymoon?
em dunno.

9. How many guests do you think you'll invite?
relatives and friends of family? thats all lah. dunno how many. if my father's friends are taken into consideration it will be more than 100000000 hahahaha jk

10. Do you want an extravagant wedding or a simple wedding?
simple. use terompah n all, baju kurung made of leaves. lol. no la, simple but dunno how simple

11. Do you want the traditional vows or something you'd make up on your own?
traditional vows?

12. How many layers of cake do you want?
hm. 10? possible?

13. Do you prefer having your reception at a hotel or a simple place?
a big hall with air conditionings

14. When do you want to get married, morning or evening?
night can ka?

15. You'd rather have your reception outdoors or indoors?
Indoors.

16. Do you like a grand entrance for your groom?
no need la

17. Name the song/tune you'd like to play at your wedding.
selamat pengantin baru - by dunno-what-her-name

18. Are you a morning person or a night person?
neither. always sleepy. what does this got to do with my wedding?

19. Do you want a solemn ceremony or a light one?
dunno

20. What age do you want to get married?
ask kamal

21. Describe your ideal husband/wife.
kamal

22. Do you prefer fine dining or just the normal spoon & fork/knife?
sukati

23. Champagne or red wine?
neither

24. Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
days after wedding

25. Money or household items?
either, or both is better kan :P

26. Who will pay for the bills?
share

27. Are you ready for married life?
no

28. Do you think you will still be a virgin until you get married?


29. Will you always be true to your wife/husband?
insyaAllah

30. How many kids would you like to have?
i wud like to have 3, kamal wud like to have 5, so take the average, we shud have 4 mayb?

31. A new house for a newly wed or an old one?
depends

32. Will you celebrate silver wedding, gold wedding or diamond wedding?
mayb? insyaAllah if i live long enough

33. What kind of cuisine would you like for your wedding?
chinese and malay

34. Will you record your honeymoon in a CD or DVD?
haha...... dunno

35. Whose wedding plans would you like to know next?

Anyone who wants to do ths

persoalannya kini,

sampai ble ku mampu bertahan
Mampukah ku bertahan?

Nampak ketara kah dilema diwajahku
Diluarnya tenang tapi tuhan saja tahu
Nampak ketara kah dilema diwajahku
Diluarnya tenang tapi tuhan saja tahu

Beginikah selalunya cinta
Diakhiri sengsara
Setelah dicurahkan semua
Cuba ku dalami
Sampai termimpi2
Namun apa yg ku jumpa
Semua nya sama

Nampak ketara kah dilema diwajahku
Diluarnya tenang tapi tuhan saja tahu
Ini semua dugaanNya

Hujan - DugaanNya

if i were to choose between loving someone unconditionally and not being able to love anyone else other than my family and friends, i would choose the latter.

so kawan2 yang single out there, why do you want to love if you know love will hurt you so much? u guys are better off being single, trust me, no need to find true love.... coz there aint no true love.

once u fell in love you better be prepared for the pain ok!! dont tell me i dont warn you!!

anyway, i finally get to drink iced lychee!!!!!!!!!! (thought of eating ABC too, and ice creams... but probably thats too much) sedap, but i have to get ready for my tonsils to be swollen again this time (and no whining) teeheeeeee

p/s : good luck to my chubby little sister for her UPSR examination tomoro.

untuk dia (dan untuk aku)

masa mengejar kita... atau kita mengejar masa?

hari ni lab start pukul 8 pagi, bila bangun pagi tengok jam dah 847 pagi. wtffffFFF!! detik ku dalam hati, nak xnak terpaksa turun ke lab sebab lab structural analysis ni xdpt dganti dgn lab lain. aku ambik masa 5 minit je utk bekemas (xmandi pun), angkat bag yang sedia terisi dgn brg (tapi kebanyakan brg yg xbekenaan; coklat tofiluk, bekas tisu, kepingan pembaris yang dah patah).

oh ye, sebab aku lambat bangun? tido pukul 5.... ohhhh thats whyyy..... gara2 test transportation engineering pukul 10 pagi aku gagah kan diri menahan ngantuk satu malam, study study study sampai nak gle. ble dah rasa hampir nak gle tu, aku stop sekejap beli makanan utk besahur. ade niat nak sambung study after tu tapi telinga aku dah mendengar bunyi2 pelik (org laki tgh borak) padahal dlm bilik tu ade aku dan roommate aku je. so, aku baring tutup telinga dgn bantal busuk, xtau macam mane boleh tetdo.

pagi tu kelam kabut sebab lambat sejam ke lab dan test tu pun (agak) senang.... senang nak goreng. tapi aku sebenanya dah bersedia untuk bedepan dengan worst case scenario yang mungkin akan terjadi (dimane aku xdpt jwb langsung test tu, boleh tulis nama dan salin soalan je), tapi Alhamdulillah maybe sebab aku (agak) betungkus lumus belajar semalam, dapat la juge jawab sikit2. at least, dpt la 50% daripada full mark (masih berdoa untuk full mark sebenanya).

kadang2 terdetik juga rasa bosan dengan keadaan mcm ni (kene belajar, risau pasal carry marks, risau pasal duit, risau pasal segalanya). kadang2 rasa nak tido je sepanjang hari, biar aku xdapat fikir or risau. mcm mane nak hidup happy ni; ble bangun pagi je, takut lambat pegi kls; nak tdo awal sebab ade kelas pukul 8 esoknya, rasa bersalah (sebab assignment masih banyak xsiap ni!); ble xtido awal, takut xcukup tido sebab kene bangun awal esoknye; ble blanje banyak sikit dah kene kire secara kasar berapa lagi duit tinggal dalam akaun; dan mcm2 lagi la! mungkin aku yang terlalu banyak pikir psl semua ni. mungking juga, tapi kalau xdipikir benda2 ni alamatnya, dunia (aku je) akan kiamat. kan

dan kadang2 terdetik juga rasa bosan sebab asyik sakit je, sakit datang satu2 lepas sakit ni, sakit tu, lepas sakit tu, sakit ni, pendek kata banyak lah sakit yang datang menyerang aku! hidup aku penuh dengan ubat-ubatan sampai kencing pun dah bau ubat (kalau xpercaya meh cni datang sendiri tengok or cium; yaks). rindu nak minum air ais, air sejuk, or makan aiskrim (sebab tonsil dalam tekak aku ni xkasi aku minum and makan bende sejuk!!)

dan kadang2 terdetik juga rasa bosan dengan keadaan kami mcm ni (aku dan boyfriend). salah sapa sebenanya? salah dia, salah aku? aku pun xtau, yang pasti nya sebab dah terlalu banyak pikir psl benda lain, aku xnak pikir sangat pasal kami. tapi bila pikir2 balik (pikir lagi) susah nak sembunyikan rasa sepi ni dari dia. aku xtau nak jwb ape. ape2 je lah.

esok ada test lagi. kene belajar sampai hampir nak gle lagi. kene stay up lagi mlm ni.

aku penat tau tak!!!!!!!!!!!!

(first time tulis post dalam bhs melayu)

happy to be here nonetheless

its the 4th day of ramadhan.

anyway, Happy Fasting everyone~

so far, fasting is fine for me despite for the gastric that i have and despite the fact that i have this principle (principal? heck) of eating every 2 hours else my stomach will grumble like mad, and people will think im farting or something which had happened twice this semester and is really embarassing. >_<

but for the past few days, my stomach didnt bother me much at all. ah, the blessings of the month of Ramadhan :)

today's sahur is really niceeeee!! i boiled broccoli, heated tinned beef curry and cooked some rice... (rajin buat sahur). i have to have my sahur every morning lor else, i cant take my meds (not sleeping pills aaa, mind u) and i will be very hungry and moody for the rest of the 13 hours fasting. grrr

i have been awake for more than 12 hours already, stayed up until its time for sahur just to finish the piling asgments (which i failed to do so). and i have an 8am class tomoro which im sure have to skip else i'll be having only 2 hours of sleep :(

its kinda hard to manage my time here, since all i do is worrying about asgments, tests (and sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep and more sleep), but i didnt actually do the asgments until it was until last minute. ah, typical student, ey?

oh lookie, its me in my graduation suit!! i like this picture. hik3~~
yeah, well its not my graduation yet, borrowed the suit from nizam, but probably this is how i look like in 2-3 years time (probably better if wear tudung kan) hehe

(anyway the labels for the posts are random)