for once, i want to do the right thing. i may not being fair to myself but i would rather hurt myself than seeing anyone hurt by me (again). for the umpteenth time i decided to let it be. anyway, what more damage can i do to myself? im used to it. so this is the last time im gonna talk or even think about this. im not going to think about it anymore!! (a not so effective way of convincing self)
im still homesick more than ever. i cant find solace here in utp. if i can just run away and be free from all of this! im sick of UTP!! im sick of the same routines everyday same people same surrounding same shit!! and im sick of being sick! im sick of keeping it all to myself!
but i cant do anything about it.
i know, i somehow deserve all of this.
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