smile.

yes. i will take the finger's advice. thank u

(dah bebaik dgn boyf)

i am a psycho.

dalam kepala aku

selama satu jam sepuluh minit statik, duduk depan komputer, yg bgerak2 jari je, oh baca blog org rupanya.

muka kosong, rasa kosong, minda kosong, oh tgh simpan perasaan rupanya.

bila terkenang, dikenang balik, oh begini begitu rupa-rupanya.

pandai. aku makin pandai hal-hal simpan perasaan ni. bagus. mana award aku? patut ada anugerah menyimpan perasaan.

ye, aku  tak nafi aku pun ade ego. kau ingat lelaki je ade ego? kenapa kene perempuan je yg mengalah? kene jadi org pertama sebut im sorry? aku xpaham. tolong pahamkan aku sikit.

salah aku? salah kau?

im sorry tu tak cukup?

aku bukan sampah. lagi jauh kalau nak dibanding dengan hidupan yang sel nya satu je. itu pun kau nak buat aku mcm sampah.

kenapa aku yang kena minta maaf kalau semua ni salah kau? still, aku buang semua ego tu dlm tong sampah, and ckp SORRY. itu pun kau tak terima. 

ko hamek la ego aku tu skali.

dahla, aku penat la weh

(sori tepengaruh dengan blog org lain, guna bahasa melayu)

ITS NOT FAIR

to judge me just because ive been "close" friends with some guys on and off before the steady relationship with boyf.

the future

im not a psychic nor am i a clairvoyant.

but this is how i imagine my life wud be like before meeting him;

5 years later : climbing my career steps to achieve the highest step possible (and to be rich, along the way), boyf? who needs boyf when u are busy with ur career? having affairs now and then wont hurt

10 years later : almost reached the ultimate goal of my life (be rich) and a spinster and oh, forgot to mention, the signs of fatigue are on its way

20 years later : a spinster, but an accomplished spinster wo.. dont play2 okay. and along with the package of some kidney disease because too many medications taken already

30 years later : already dying, if not dead. still a spinster, and already make a will to give wealth to family and friends.

very miserable huh.

take me under

who should i seek comfort to?

where are you when i need you?

i dont blame you. i never blame you. blamed myself, for needing u too much. always. all of the time.

im glad i bought breaking dawn. eventho ive read it thousands of times. it makes me happy. its not a waste of money. at least, its better and healthier than the pills. 

no, u go away. i'll keep a distance from now on.

dahla, mok g baca my happy book lok. xmenyakitkan xcomplicated.

im only sleepinggg

its been like what. a month since i havent update anything? dont blame me ok, blame the nonexistence of utp's internet connection which is a disappointment and i do wonder where do all the internet charges go if they dont bother to upgrade? :(

ehm. updates. heh. i went back to kuching for a week ONLY.... xlamak, kjp jak, but i tell u, holidays are not the same when my friends are not there too :( so what i did is only help bapak at the cafe, eat, sleep, swim, oh mostly spent my time with family.

and and... when i came back to this hellhole, yes this is a hellhole it has been one lately; all the assignments, projects, revisions that i have been blissfully forgotten about during the holiday came back to haunt me with a swirling tornado!! gila busy i tell u ish33333 rasa nak mati pun ada. i knowwww i can never get away with spending even a day without thinking about them. urgh. boring da jak.

hehe and i not only accomplished to stack all of the works into stacks of somewhat resembles the pisa tower :P, but i also managed to widen my waistline wuwuwuwuwu.... 

oh and last week i spent the weekend at boyf's hometown, hihihi.. go see my inlaws :P ehm. jk. its a last minute thing actually, bcoz boyf had an emergency and he had to go back home and no one can teman him, so being a worried fart i am, dont want him to drive alone for 8 hours, me and enoi tagged along. its quite fun actually, spending time with his family even get to know his uncles, aunties, cousins altho the mood is not really appropriate for the occasion... (boyf's gramps passed away)

suddenly i feel like having sleepover at dena's or nora's and talking nonstop huhu ish3 mayb im missing them too much already.

and what the hell is Scheduled outage at 2:00AM PDT on Thursday (4/16) anyway? this is so random. k lah bye

*happy* ngeengee

oh for the record ive been reading breaking dawn trillion times already and dont get me started on the movie itself and other sequels too, i know, gla o?

byebye/

reasons why you need a gf :)

this is a reply to syara's. haha

1) if ure broke, u can ask money from her :P ("its ok u can pay me later when we're married k sayang... i love you muah muah")

2) if ure down or if u have a bad hair day, u can always count on her to cheer u up. (i blanje u steamboat mlm ni, nk x? jgn sedih2 lg k~~~ shian dieee..)

3) u can skip classes often for she can help u take notes and assignment questions from the lectures

4) u can stare at her openly, compared to the time when u had a crush on her earlier and can only stare at her secretly and the best part is that u guys can exchange that lovey dovey look anytime u want

5) having a gf is hot, it is an indicator that u are wanted and desirable and having a gf makes u harder to get (we like challenges, dont we? *wink*)

6) love itself can make u feel alive, it changes ur perspective on almost everything, it makes u feel more optimistic

7) eventho it is hurtful, u need the emotional wear n tear sometime or another otherwise ur life will be boring and for me, i like the make up part the best :P

8) u will not be lost anymore, bcause she defines ur life, she creates a purpose for u to live hahahaha what am i crapping

9) u can have presents, even better if ur gf has many of those ching2s.. u can get expensive ones everytime :P

10) u dont have to keep ur feelings to urself, u can tell her everything u can tell her that ure sad u can cry u can tell her that ure mad at this polan bin polan, but i doubt u want to cry in front of her, no? ;)

11) u can fill in the emptiness that u have been feeling before she came 

12) u can have a massage service for free

13) u can eat for free (this is applicable for when she is cooking)

14) bangga! if ure gf is pretty or beautiful or popular, can show off :P

15) can boost ur self esteem, especially if u get a loving gf and she can give u all the attention u need

16) u are certain with what u want to do with ur future, at least, with her

17) u wont have to keep all the metaphoric love phrases to urself, u can tell it to ur gf and express how much u love her

18) u can have dreams about her all night long, happy dreams of course

19) u dont have to wait for ur folks to find ur soulmate, u already found her

20) u can be the hero u always wanted to be, at least, to her, protect her and stuff.

21) u dont have to wait anymore :)

22)

haha penat dah.. malas2