halfway home

tho i like to browse thru old pictures, i hate the feeling which comes after that; i will miss those people in the pictures a whole lot more than i was before.

i like this picture anyway;


candidkah? mcm candid. haha pa polah dena yaaaa

we're in the exam weeks now. and oh yeah, i have been deprived of internet for a few weeks, thats y i havent been updating my blog or my facebook :)

anyway internet is back, (which is hard to believe at first, too good to be true bah).

will be back to kuching next week and start my industrial training sometime in the middle of June. will be in the working arena soon. boohoo

oklah better go back to my revisions :P

kaki nota : happy belated bday to sepul and senah!

the future

im not a psychic nor am i a clairvoyant.

but this is how i imagine my life wud be like before meeting him;

5 years later : climbing my career steps to achieve the highest step possible (and to be rich, along the way), boyf? who needs boyf when u are busy with ur career? having affairs now and then wont hurt

10 years later : almost reached the ultimate goal of my life (be rich) and a spinster and oh, forgot to mention, the signs of fatigue are on its way

20 years later : a spinster, but an accomplished spinster wo.. dont play2 okay. and along with the package of some kidney disease because too many medications taken already

30 years later : already dying, if not dead. still a spinster, and already make a will to give wealth to family and friends.

very miserable huh.

im only sleepinggg

its been like what. a month since i havent update anything? dont blame me ok, blame the nonexistence of utp's internet connection which is a disappointment and i do wonder where do all the internet charges go if they dont bother to upgrade? :(

ehm. updates. heh. i went back to kuching for a week ONLY.... xlamak, kjp jak, but i tell u, holidays are not the same when my friends are not there too :( so what i did is only help bapak at the cafe, eat, sleep, swim, oh mostly spent my time with family.

and and... when i came back to this hellhole, yes this is a hellhole it has been one lately; all the assignments, projects, revisions that i have been blissfully forgotten about during the holiday came back to haunt me with a swirling tornado!! gila busy i tell u ish33333 rasa nak mati pun ada. i knowwww i can never get away with spending even a day without thinking about them. urgh. boring da jak.

hehe and i not only accomplished to stack all of the works into stacks of somewhat resembles the pisa tower :P, but i also managed to widen my waistline wuwuwuwuwu.... 

oh and last week i spent the weekend at boyf's hometown, hihihi.. go see my inlaws :P ehm. jk. its a last minute thing actually, bcoz boyf had an emergency and he had to go back home and no one can teman him, so being a worried fart i am, dont want him to drive alone for 8 hours, me and enoi tagged along. its quite fun actually, spending time with his family even get to know his uncles, aunties, cousins altho the mood is not really appropriate for the occasion... (boyf's gramps passed away)

suddenly i feel like having sleepover at dena's or nora's and talking nonstop huhu ish3 mayb im missing them too much already.

and what the hell is Scheduled outage at 2:00AM PDT on Thursday (4/16) anyway? this is so random. k lah bye

*happy* ngeengee

oh for the record ive been reading breaking dawn trillion times already and dont get me started on the movie itself and other sequels too, i know, gla o?

byebye/

reasons why you need a gf :)

this is a reply to syara's. haha

1) if ure broke, u can ask money from her :P ("its ok u can pay me later when we're married k sayang... i love you muah muah")

2) if ure down or if u have a bad hair day, u can always count on her to cheer u up. (i blanje u steamboat mlm ni, nk x? jgn sedih2 lg k~~~ shian dieee..)

3) u can skip classes often for she can help u take notes and assignment questions from the lectures

4) u can stare at her openly, compared to the time when u had a crush on her earlier and can only stare at her secretly and the best part is that u guys can exchange that lovey dovey look anytime u want

5) having a gf is hot, it is an indicator that u are wanted and desirable and having a gf makes u harder to get (we like challenges, dont we? *wink*)

6) love itself can make u feel alive, it changes ur perspective on almost everything, it makes u feel more optimistic

7) eventho it is hurtful, u need the emotional wear n tear sometime or another otherwise ur life will be boring and for me, i like the make up part the best :P

8) u will not be lost anymore, bcause she defines ur life, she creates a purpose for u to live hahahaha what am i crapping

9) u can have presents, even better if ur gf has many of those ching2s.. u can get expensive ones everytime :P

10) u dont have to keep ur feelings to urself, u can tell her everything u can tell her that ure sad u can cry u can tell her that ure mad at this polan bin polan, but i doubt u want to cry in front of her, no? ;)

11) u can fill in the emptiness that u have been feeling before she came 

12) u can have a massage service for free

13) u can eat for free (this is applicable for when she is cooking)

14) bangga! if ure gf is pretty or beautiful or popular, can show off :P

15) can boost ur self esteem, especially if u get a loving gf and she can give u all the attention u need

16) u are certain with what u want to do with ur future, at least, with her

17) u wont have to keep all the metaphoric love phrases to urself, u can tell it to ur gf and express how much u love her

18) u can have dreams about her all night long, happy dreams of course

19) u dont have to wait for ur folks to find ur soulmate, u already found her

20) u can be the hero u always wanted to be, at least, to her, protect her and stuff.

21) u dont have to wait anymore :)

22)

haha penat dah.. malas2

72% noty

[] Gotten detention.
[] Gotten your phone taken away in class.
[ ] Gotten suspended.
[X] Gotten caught chewing gum.
[ ] Gotten caught cheating on a test.

Total: 1

[X] Arrived late to class more than 5 times.
[X] Didn’t do homework over 5 times
[X] Turned at least 3 projects in late.
[X] Missed school cause you felt like it.
[x] Laughed so loud you got kicked out of class.

Total : 5

[] Got your mum / dad etc. to get you out of school.
[X] Texted people during class.
[X] Passed notes.
[X] Threw stuff across the room.
[X] Laughed at the teacher.

Total : 4

[] Pulled down the Fire Alarm.
[X] Went on Myspace , Facebook , Xanga , etc. on the computer at school. (yes, fully using uni's facility! XD)
[X] Took Pictures during school hours.
[X] Called someone during School hours.
[X] Listened to an iPod , CD , etc... During class.

Total : 4

[x] Threw something at the teacher.
[X] Went outside the classroom without permission.
[X] Broke the dress code.
[] Failed a class.
[X] Ate food during class.

Total : 4

[] Gotten a call from school.
[] Couldn’t go on a field trip cause you behaved badly.
[X] Didn’t take your stuff to school.
[] Gotten a detention and didn't go.
[] Stuck up your middle finger at a teacher when they were not looking.
[x] Cursed during class loud enough so the teacher could hear

Total : 3

[X] Faked your parents signature.
[X] Slept in class.
[ ] Cursed at a teacher to their face.
[X] Copied homework.

Total: 3

MULTIPLY BY THREE : 24X3=72%

im just bored..

what goes around comes around

the title is so cliche i know.

all this while, i know that i have low tolerance for pain, and u wud say that i wud be the person to avoid pain at all costs but on second thought i act the total opposite. like, i know i have sensitive tonsils, there was even this one time when my tonsils were swollen so much that when i drink or even speak it hurts so much. doctor, bf have advised to cut down on the consumption of cold drinks but i was stubborn and now the tonsils feel painful if not uncomfortable.

and another thing that i know i will get hurt at some point when i love someone this much, (dont get me wrong, i get hurt because of my high expectations, its not because of sayang), but i still cant help falling in love with bf, so u see even if i am the person who whines too much about a cut on the finger or get restless when my mouth have ulcers and other little things that are supposed to make me at least can ignore those little things but no.. i still whine. a lot.

so everytime i feel the littlest sorethroat ever i freak out already fearing that my tonsils would get swollen again and this time my nitemare came true. wuhuhu, and of course im not telling bf! he will scold me for not heeding his warning all this time. and mother too, and father too. lol

so, i have to endure this alone (with the meds) and i'll try not to whine, not even a single word of pain! yes! i will be strong! i deserve it anyway :(

talking about deserving things, u know, i really believe in karma (are muslims allowed to believe in karma?) well, for example if people talk this... that... behind you, the same thing will happen to them, and to the people dissing them and to the people dissing them them :P come to think of it, it actually is some sort of a cycle. so folks, if u have had ur fair share of gossiping do expect that people will gossip about u too, doesnt matter it is about bad or good things. and as for me, i dont really care what people are talking behind my back as long as i dont know about it and if i do know about it, its not hurtful enough to make me feel bitter about them.

ah, its quite nice talking about my swollen tonsils and karma rather than dissing people in my blog kan, it is much much nicer :)

bye kawan2 yang aku sayang and ingat selalu. (yes, i get mushy2 these days, i dont care, it feels nice)

and goodbye to u too, my brother from another mother (okay, im not referring to anyone i just want to use the phrase :P )

you make it real

u know the feeling when one thing goes wrong and upsets u and then all of the other things that have been making u feel terrible begin surfacing. this has got to be one of the worst times in my life;

tonight is the first night in this week that im free of group studies, or meetings, or other engagemants and thought it wud be nice to spend the time with boyfriend but got stood up by him over his friends instead (apparently because of some important brotherhood stuffs).

i miss my cat, terribly, not to mention my family.

the internet connection here is almost useless, it took me more than 50 attempts just to view my blog.

i dunno and i cant imagine how i wud survive in utp without boyfriend with me

i ran out of how i met your mother episodes to watch. and i dont want to watch other series! its not the same.

i received an email saying that i havent returned the books that ive borrowed from kuching library, asked mother's help to return them back but she sounds like she couldnt care less, she even scold me for not taking care of it before i got back to utp

i cant go back to kuching this cny holiday or even to shah alam where thats the second place in the world that i wud feel at home despite the fact that ive been staying in utp for more than 2 years. utp sucks

and that leads to the fact that i cant see dena in kl later.

i am hungry.

i really dont have anything to do. i dont know what to do, i think i wud die of boredom.

i think shopping can solve all the problems at least for a short while, but u see, i often feel like shopping when i have no money and that sucksss

thats about it. the things that makes me feel terrible
k bye..

anyway lagu yang terlewatkan by sheila on 7 is nice.. one of the depressing songs that i can listen to when im depressed :)

k k byebye..

lesson learnt

never diss about anyone on your blog, which obviously will lead to people hating you or talking behind your back.

thats all. haha :) bye

light on

i get disappointed by people so often already, that i dont know what to feel or say anymore.

save your apologies for someone else.

hell yeah

this is my new baby! so happy about it :D
anyway. tagged by syara;

Bertajuk 16 perkara rawak.

Syarat dan peraturan:

1. Apabila telah terpilih dengan malangnya, silalah menulis 16 perkara rawak sama ada tentang fakta, perangai tak senonoh, ataupun hala tuju hidup anda.

2. Silalah hasut 16 orang lain untuk melakukan perkara ini.

3. Sila tanda manusia yang telah menanda anda diperingkat awal. (Gila ke ni? Haha)

4. Ketahuilah, jika anda terpilih ia adalah kerana anda juga manusia biasa yang perlukan perhatian dan kasih sayang yang secukupnya ketika bayi.

so here goes..

1. i am myself when im with boyfriend, i fart, i burp i can do anything i want in front of him without feeling embarassed kikiki...

2. i am a paranoid person. i always think of the worst. i can be extra careful sometimes, i always feel that locking my room door in the hostel is not enough i have to double lock it with a padlock so that my baby wont get stolen, or i would bring more than a couple of safety pins in my handbag just in case i need them or when the safety pins that im using broke or something and i bring more than one extra hairband just in case hehe.

3. i use safety pins on the waist of my jeans btw (kurus gilak)

4. and do u know that even if im extra careful, i still forget things, sometimes lock the door just in time to remember that i forget to bring the keys. bagusss!!!

5. i would get emotional once ive read depressing novels, so beware!

6. i have a bantal busuk that i cant live without

7. i would smile to myself with no reason everytime i see boyfriend :)

8. i still would have civilization with the people that i dislike, but i make sure to keep a distance :)

9. i have a few people on my hate list, tho i tried so hard not to have any

10. im a sucker for romantic stuffs

11. ...

i'll continue later. haha penat dah. bye

beach, melody, n... pee?

went to the beach the other day. so here are some picciessssss

the stinged-by-jellyfish incident. unfortunately, i was too stunned at that time to take pictures of the doctoring process. hahah



sayang after changing into clean clothes. penat bermandi manda

apparently, u can cure the jellyfish sting by peeing on it! no kidding. u can figure out what they did to help our poor friend in the 2nd picture. i didnt take a bath at the sea, and so do my other two girl friends while the others enjoyed themselves thoroughly playing in the waves.

seeing sayang with his friends made me realize that the kind of happiness that he had is totally different than the times when we're together, and it was when i understand why he enjoyed spending time with his friends as much as him with me.

this was one of the time that we get to see the boys half naked tho. :P ok, i am not a pervert if that's what u think! ..went to mcd after, and slept through the rest of the day.

haha thats it for our picnic trip last sunday!

k byeeeeeeee

hah!

well, waddya know, im done with my second paper already. its only been one third of the exam weeks but i already feel like its been for ages. i feel like having some ranting but gotta do some revisions nonetheless so im cutting it short :

• the next paper is on monday, and this time i feel totally unprepared. remember the sinking and drowning feeling that i got for a test some time ago? yes, that is exactly how i feel now too except that its much worse bcoz i feel like my feet is tied to something heavy and im going down2 and i cant do anything about it except to struggle which; i know, will be pointless. this subject is killing all of us, im not kidding, its more horrible than the epidemic only one did not fail a particular subject last 2 sem (in other words, almost everyone in the class failed the subject. but luckily the distribution thing is changed or something so that not many got an F on their result slip compared to before) but that was the lecturer's fault, this time it is the REAL DEAL. this is not only the core subject for civil engineering but it is HARDCORE. okay, i know im exaggerating but what the hell
• bfriend is sick for a few days now and it makes me sad to see him in pain (physically), because usually he is the stronger one and he always take care of me but this time it wud be my turn to take care of him. get well soon sayang!
  
• i feel sick too, coz i dont have my nasal spray with me, this flu im having is really bugging me, u see, i still cant live without meds. not that im addicted to flu pills anymore. but if i have flu it means that i have to take flu pills and it really affects my mood most of the time. flu pills make me feel cranky.

so better start on the revision byebye

all you wanted

i woke up in the morning expecting to have to endure some pain in my bad foot but surprisingly there was.... none. oh good, it seems like my healing system is really fast then i happily unwrap the bandage and went to toilet (i can almost walk normally, i tell u)

then a few minutes later, the pain slowly creeps in.. i knewwwww it was too good to be true!! huhu. come to think of it, its pretty much how reality sounds; you wake up in the morning, not remembering anything then reality hits you in the head announcing its arrival just a few minutes late. huh!!!

i suddenly miss home. i bet mother can just kiss the pain away. thats how great mother is. :P ok im lying but it will feel pretty much the same bcoz.. well, bcoz she's my mother la.

k bye.

tak kisah

mereka kata ku gile,
lagilah aku suke,
otak ku geliga,
fikiran luar biase,
mereka kata ku samseng,
tapi ku xambil pusing,
pedulikan semua,
fikir ape yg penting!

mcm penah je aku letak lirik ni.

oh semalam aku sangatlah malang. knape? sbb nye pagi semalam (5 nov, 0730) kaki aku terseliuh masa turun tangga. bukan main sakit lagi, sakitnye aku ngn Tuhan je tau. aku mampu nangis je. sekarang aku dah jadi mcm org cacat, jadi tempang. bukanla aku nak mengutuk org2 cacat. no offense tho. kita semua cacat in a way kan. at least, itu ape yg aku percaya. kalau korg nak deny, aku xkisah. xde kaitan dgn aku.

gambar? ye, aku mmg dah ambik gamba kaki aku sbenanye. tapi bila aku fikir2 balik, xpayah je aku post gamba kaki aku yg bengkak dan masih bdarah lagi bwh kulit dia, nanti ade yang muntah. bila aku fikir lagi utk kali ke3, mungkin aku xkisah org nak muntah ke ape bila tengok gamba tu tapi perasaan malas tu dah ade, pandai2 la korg fikir sendiri. dah penat pulak aku fikir.

kalau boleh mmg aku xnak gerak langsung dari katil, satu hari baring aje biar org belikan mknn kalau aku lapa n sume. tapi seumur hidup aku, aku dah blaja utk jarang begantung dgn org sgt especially kwn2 aku, skt mcm mana skali pon, aku kene gak bdiri sendiri (like, literally). sbb tu bila dgn boyfriend aku jadi manja, semua benda nak bgantung dgn dia. tapi dia xphm tu. xape. aku xkisah, wpun ade kaitan ngn aku.

kaki aku dah ok sikit (6 nov, 0254) wpun masih dlm bandage. tapi skrg hati pulak sakit. kalau kaki terseliuh kita boleh letak ais utk redakan sakit, agaknye boleh x kalau letak ais kat dada bila hati kita sakit? rasanya xkot. dan aku xkan cuba teori tu, sbb aku bkn bodoh. tapi ade je org kata aku bodoh ke gile ke ape ke, blkg aku. xpe. aku xkisah. dosa dorg sendiri tanggung, xde kaitan dgn aku.

aku sdr, setiap kali aku post entry dalam bahasa melayu mesti ade org akan ejek punya. sbbnye selama tiga tahun aku menulis blog xpernah aku tulis entry dlm bm. mungkin aku xnak mengaku english aku makin teruk, setiap kali nak tulis something dlm english utk express something rase mcm makin byk sel neuron dalam otak kene kerje berbanding time aku foundation dulu. speaking english pun xbtol dah. tapi skrg xde bende yg memerlukan aku ckp english sgt so buat masa skrg aku xkisah, wpun satu masa nanti aku kene improve balik english aku ni.

and korg sedar tak, lelaki selalu kata benda mcm i wont ever leave you alone, aku rela mati dari buat kau nangis, u are my everything, and mcm2 lagi. tapi selama aku hidup ni (ok, aku tipu mayb after aziz) aku xpernah percaya 100% ape yg dckpkan tu. sbbnye, aku dah pnh lalui dan aku percaya mesti kwn2 perempuan aku pun byk jugak yg pnh lalui situasi mcm ni. so aku hrp pasni mana2 lelaki yg rase korg akan ckp mcm tu kat mana2 prmp, fikir dua tiga kali lagi sbb kalau prmp dah percaya ckp korg tu tapi last2 xjd mcm tu dia mayb xkan bgtau tapi dia akan ingat sampai bila2. aku? aku xkisah dah sbb dah lali sgt dgn perkara mcm ni.

oh dan disini aku nak bgtau kat sape2 yg mungkin xfaham lagi; ini blog aku dan aku boleh tulis ape2 je dlm blog ni asalkan aku xmelibatkan ape2 yg bkaitan dgn politik (xnak ade kaitan pun dgn politik) or ape2 isu sensitif negara skrg. so sapa2 yg baca ni, nak komen buruk2 baik simpan je pastu xyah dtg blog aku lagi sbb membuang masa korg je kan better korg pg garu bontot sendiri or something. and aku sepatutnya xkisah org nak fikir ape setiap kali aku post entry dlm blog ni. ye, aku akan buat mcm tu mulai dari saat ini.

bila rasaku ini rasamu

cute aint it? i think this picture represents me. haha. :) unfortunately, from what i heard, boys find it suffocating to be loved unconditionally :(

i heard that a friend of a friend had recently died because of lung cancer. i didnt know her but i feel sad all the same knowing that the girl died at a young age (she's 20). she was a student from mrsm langkawi and from what i read in her blog (im not stalking her) she had so much ahead of her and she was so brave to handle her sickness and believed that she will get well, but Allah loves her more..all of this makes me feel silly because seeing a person like her didnt immediately crawl under her blanket and spend her last living moment under the blanket crying (if it wouldve been me i would do that :P) while here i am getting depressed over nothing. sigh. and she just suffered for a short period of time because she was only diagnosed for the cancer earlier this year.

...it makes me wonder, how are her parents feeling right now, losing their only child (again, no, im not stalking her, just call me curious, there's just something about reading a dead person's blog) and her besties, imagine how they are feeling right now.. so sad wawawa.. i cant even imagine the possibilities of losing my loved ones, it hurts you know.

and it made me realize that i have to treasure my life more, appreciate the surroundings more, and remember Allah always. and also appreciate my loved ones more. teehee :)

btw, i found this from a friend's blog and tried the quiz and it turned out that im a hulk! fuh. no wonder i turned into quite a monster when im angry. maybe bcoz i answered yes for the question "do you get angry easily?".

Your results:
You are Hulk

Hulk 60% Superman 55% Spider-Man 55% Supergirl 50% Robin 50% The Flash 50% Green Lantern 45% Wonder Woman 40% Catwoman 40% Iron Man 40% Batman 30%

You are a wanderer with amazing strength.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

okay.. ive a confession to make;

to be honest, ive started wearing tudung full time during the fasting month. its something that i didnt mention to people or in blog up until now. all of my friends in utp were glad of the good change but i dont know why, i feel ashamed to show up in front of my friends in Kuching after i wear tudung, its not like before this i was not wearing tudung its just that i dont wear tudung consistently. i was afraid that they would mock me for wearing tudung... (which explains why i have not uploaded any of my raya piccies) and my assumptions are true, u see, a friend posted a comment in my facebook and obviously by the tone of it he was mocking me. there's even a srwkian friend in utp said "since when u wear tudung huh?" hu :( (this is what i was trying to tell you dena, but i dont know how)

and and and by wearing tudung i feel like i dont fit with the others (friends in Kuching) and i feel less pretty because i dont know how to dress stylishly, see, and when i wear tudung my clothes are restricted to jeans and shirts only and sometimes blouses if i have the effort to be in uncomfortable blouses for hours and hours :( i know it has nothing to do with me wearing tudung... but but.. its been quite a while that ive been feeling like this, im such a bum, am i? :P not to mention that i dont feel comfortable wearing tudung bcoz i feel less carefree cannot be much of a tomboy, have to act like a lady etc etc. but when i wear tudung, it makes my loved ones happy and also about the religion thing, teehee and thats what really matters :)

but im still afraid to meet my friends later on..... huk2

you must be thinking, silly girl to think of such things, or she thinks too much la. huhuhuhu but how am i supposed to do? aaaa......

and takut bah when i remembered the girl with the lung cancer coz it reminds me that we can die anytime. i just dont wanna die yet.... i havent done enough deeds and i have so many sins that im sure i'll be placed in the 7th ring of hell if i die now. huhuhu~~~

omg, its 235 am already (blogspot clock is set wrongly), enough with the craps and i need to get some sleep. so; nite peeps!

nyee

cheating in test? kids nowadays.... tsk tsk tsk :P

sepi

currently playing : yuni shara - sepi
current mood : full stomach, lazy

no, the title has nothing to do with what im feeling right now.

and i miss my friends, i miss dena and i miss nora, and i miss atul, and come to think of it, i want to hate atul too because she changed her mobile number and didnt even tell me and i cant contact her in any way because i guess the whole family changed their goddamn mobile numbers too (i know, because i tried to call her father too)

i know i should study my ass off (ha haaa.. what kind of phrase is that??) bcause of the incoming test tomorrow but here i am updating with the revision book under my ankles with the same page opened for the last 30 minutes, how fun is it eh?

i watched the latest love movie by this Bahtia guy; Sepi and it was super sad (for Tony Eusoff and Baizura Kahar parts) and super cute (for Afdlin Shauki part)!! i cried a few times actually, while watching the movie, i was so touched..... *coughs* forgive me for being an emo person i cant help it bah. anyway, i suggest that u guys watch it too its a great movie, even better than Cinta.

talking about love, last two days i dreamt about boyfriend being dead and when i woke up it took me a while to digest what ive been dreaming then i burst into tears and i called him immediately just to make sure he's really okay and it's just a dream, it turns out that he is just watching cartoons and still breathing and alive (thank god) and it makes me quite paranoid for the whole day wanting to know what he was doing every minute every hour and whether he is safe. eventually by the end of the day the paranoia comes to an end when he tell me not to imagine horrid stuffs anymore and convinced me that he's fine. teehee, cant help it tho because i love him so much and oh, ignore the previous posts thats just me being emo because we had fights blablabla.

today i was very annoyed at some people because they were acting like i was still not over aziz. u see, aziz and a friend of ours are officially together for a few days already, and people have been asking me things like "goddd arent you jealous, wani?" "if i were you i would be jealous, seriouslyyyyyyy" "poor you..." or maybe some people dont say it that way but i know what they are thinking. they are thinking that im this pitiful ex who is not over her ex, and yet her ex has found someone new while leaving me to bite my fingers and cry a river..... yeah im so pitiful that here i am eating like a pig while watching heroes and looking fwd for the date with boyfriend tonight... god, i feel like screaming to their faces "fyi suckers, i have a boyfriend who i really love and oh what a surprise!! the boyfriend is not aziz!!" in a sarcastic tone of course. how i just love sarcasm :D

its been so long that ive post something about aziz and the last time is when i was still a fan of him. gla. but anyway, cheers to aziz and his girlfriend and may you guys live happily ever after!

blah, and now im exhausted with no mood to study still :|

:)

He's a Keeper!

Your guy is a rare find: sweet, kind, and loyal. And as long as he doesn't have three nipples, You should seriously consider keeping him a long time Sometimes a girl can't see a good thing when she's got one So let me tell you: your guy is a gold medal boyfriend Just make sure you treat him right in return!

Is He a Keeper?

thats why i love my boyfriend so much lalalalala

taggity tag

tagged by syara.

Dream wedding.This is a survey about your dream wedding, whether it be in the next year or after ten years. So, please answer after you read, the person who answered this before you took a great deal of effort.

1. How old are you?
19

2. Are you single?
nonononono

3. In what age do you think you'll get married?
ask kamal.

4. Do you think you'll be marrying the person you are with now?
yea. i hope so.

5. If not, who do you want to marry?
James McAvoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6. Do you want a garden/beach or a traditional wedding?
Traditional ya gne? hehe

7. Your ideal motive?
dunno la

8. Where do you plan to go on a honeymoon?
em dunno.

9. How many guests do you think you'll invite?
relatives and friends of family? thats all lah. dunno how many. if my father's friends are taken into consideration it will be more than 100000000 hahahaha jk

10. Do you want an extravagant wedding or a simple wedding?
simple. use terompah n all, baju kurung made of leaves. lol. no la, simple but dunno how simple

11. Do you want the traditional vows or something you'd make up on your own?
traditional vows?

12. How many layers of cake do you want?
hm. 10? possible?

13. Do you prefer having your reception at a hotel or a simple place?
a big hall with air conditionings

14. When do you want to get married, morning or evening?
night can ka?

15. You'd rather have your reception outdoors or indoors?
Indoors.

16. Do you like a grand entrance for your groom?
no need la

17. Name the song/tune you'd like to play at your wedding.
selamat pengantin baru - by dunno-what-her-name

18. Are you a morning person or a night person?
neither. always sleepy. what does this got to do with my wedding?

19. Do you want a solemn ceremony or a light one?
dunno

20. What age do you want to get married?
ask kamal

21. Describe your ideal husband/wife.
kamal

22. Do you prefer fine dining or just the normal spoon & fork/knife?
sukati

23. Champagne or red wine?
neither

24. Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
days after wedding

25. Money or household items?
either, or both is better kan :P

26. Who will pay for the bills?
share

27. Are you ready for married life?
no

28. Do you think you will still be a virgin until you get married?


29. Will you always be true to your wife/husband?
insyaAllah

30. How many kids would you like to have?
i wud like to have 3, kamal wud like to have 5, so take the average, we shud have 4 mayb?

31. A new house for a newly wed or an old one?
depends

32. Will you celebrate silver wedding, gold wedding or diamond wedding?
mayb? insyaAllah if i live long enough

33. What kind of cuisine would you like for your wedding?
chinese and malay

34. Will you record your honeymoon in a CD or DVD?
haha...... dunno

35. Whose wedding plans would you like to know next?

Anyone who wants to do ths

bercahayalah selamanya

tunjukkan ku bulan gerhana
tiada siapa nak ku jumpa
pedih yang tiada ku sangka ada
oh tak mengapa
tak mengapa;

butterfingers - mati hidup kembali

ive been listening to this song over and over for the past 2 days. BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u shud listen to it too.

nothing new except that finally i got my driving licence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha those jpj or police suckers cant give me summons anymore because i can drive legally now!! so happy :)

went to the driving test last thursday, i dont know why i was less nervous than i was during the pre-test (when my left leg shook like mad bcoz i was so nervous, made it kinda difficult for me to drive, ala pre-test jak pun). hehe but over all the test was fine, the jpj officer that evaluated me was so passive, she (yes, she) the only thing that she talked to me is about asking for my signature and my full name.

i dont know why but i kinda feel tired of everything, i barely did anything except for going out to ipoh with my friends yesterday (and sleep, and eat, and chatting, and listening to music, mostly sleep). i didnt even do the assignments that has been piling up ever since. even when my boyfriend is mad at me, i feel tired that i dont know what to do cept for sending him an apology thru the sms.

i cant have access to the facebook since last few days, and yet i can have access to my blog, the elearning portal, my boyfriend's friendster, other people's blogs.. sometimes i feel like talking to someone badly but i dont know who to talk to, who will understand, wanted to send a msg to dena on the facebook, but cant even access the facebook website so how lor? :(

sometimes i feel like living in utp is like living in hell, the name is UNIVERSITI TEKNOLOGI PETRONAS but the internet connection here is very slow its like the internet from the stone age!!!!!! nama jak teknologi but the technology here sucks!!

i already start to whine like mad again, am i.

talking about hell, i once read about the hell having sub-hells, its like u have 7 rings of hell. the 1st ring is where u receive the littlest punishments, well mayb like you have to run without your feet and eat shit something like that, and the degree of the punishment gets higher as the numbers go. so the 7th ring of hell is like the most horrible place mayb, what with you being frozen (and naked) and not able to cry at all because when you cry your tears will be droplets of ice because the place is so cold or some kind of horrible punishments that even us humans cant imagine. i guess utp is like the 4th ring of hell, but with my friends and boyfriend with me it made utp move to the upper ring of hell, mayb 3rd? but muslims are not supposed to believe this, i guess. hehe

i was supposed to wake up earlier around 7 am but i went to bed only at 3am so i slept like a log and when boyfriend called to wake me up i didnt wake up and he was mad. i promised him a breakfast today huhu im so sorry sayang..

then when i woke up its already 830am and i was like shit, he must be mad having to wait for me for 3 hours huhuhuhu. but i cooked breakfast for him (and his roommate) and my roommate immediately nonethelss, coz i promised him already and i hate to break promises that i made. i made scrambled eggs, chicken ham and cheese sandwich and fried beef frankfurters which turned out to be wavy after i fried them (arent hot dogs supposed to be straight in shape?), hell, it would be better if i boil them but i was in a rush coz i want to give it to him but i know he wont want to see me so how am i going to give it to him? so in the end i gave it to his roommate instead huhuhu... but then what can i do, it was my mistake after all i have to deal with it.

(a small voice in me said; but i cant sleep last night because my tonsils felt very painful, he should understand why i stayed up and at least show some sympathy because im sick yadayadayadayada *slaps self*)

ive been feeling excited about this person, (which i probably should not) but it has been so long since i feel like this about someone, its a nice feeling and i cant help but to say he's cute! :P. dena or nora or atul would understand sigh

anyway, my parents were in town yesterday, and i was like why didnt they visit me here?? utp is only 3 hours away. well, maybe i should not bother them just to see me huhu..

me : can u come visit me here please? (i cant believe i have to beg them to visit me)
mother : we cant dear, we have something to do before we get back home
me : but i want you guys to meet my.. umm... friend......
mother : who? your boyfriend is it? you dont need to have a boyfriend now dear, why dont you just concentrate on ur studies for the time being..
me:...... (what the hell was i thinking when i said that, i know my mother wont be interested in my love life now)

so you see, boyfriend and i have a serious relationship, we planned on our future already (sikit2) and who cares if he is not from sarawak.... imagine if i tell my mother that

possible situation 1

me : mother, ive already found someone who i want to marry and live with someday. he's from......
mother : what!!!! you're still 19 and you want to marry already???
me : not marry now la mother, im just telling.....
mother : dear, you just focus on your study now okay, you dont need other distractions i want you to get higher gpa next sem, remember you already promised me!
me : alright, mother........

possible situation 2

me : mother, ive already found someone who i want to marry and live with some......
mother : shush shush shush, im not accepting this nonsense, you are still a student!
me : .......

well probably this wont happen coz mother always listen to what i have to say first hehe.

possible situation 3

me : mother, ive already found someone who i want to marry and live with someday. he's from johor.....
mother : he's from johor? why do you have to find someone so far? ive told you that once you're married i want you to stay in kuching, so you have to persuade him to stay here and live here (more like migrate to kuching terusssss)

(but.... but..... but..... his mother said to him that once he's married he have to live in mersing, so how? ha ha ha..... nvm mayb we'll live some place else other than kuching or mersing, that way, everything will be fair)

me : ........... (worried already) haha

but its a long way to go, so we dont have to worry about that.

ish, im tired!!!!!!!!!!!!! want to be with my bantal busuk now. bye