bercahayalah selamanya

tunjukkan ku bulan gerhana
tiada siapa nak ku jumpa
pedih yang tiada ku sangka ada
oh tak mengapa
tak mengapa;

butterfingers - mati hidup kembali

ive been listening to this song over and over for the past 2 days. BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u shud listen to it too.

nothing new except that finally i got my driving licence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha those jpj or police suckers cant give me summons anymore because i can drive legally now!! so happy :)

went to the driving test last thursday, i dont know why i was less nervous than i was during the pre-test (when my left leg shook like mad bcoz i was so nervous, made it kinda difficult for me to drive, ala pre-test jak pun). hehe but over all the test was fine, the jpj officer that evaluated me was so passive, she (yes, she) the only thing that she talked to me is about asking for my signature and my full name.

i dont know why but i kinda feel tired of everything, i barely did anything except for going out to ipoh with my friends yesterday (and sleep, and eat, and chatting, and listening to music, mostly sleep). i didnt even do the assignments that has been piling up ever since. even when my boyfriend is mad at me, i feel tired that i dont know what to do cept for sending him an apology thru the sms.

i cant have access to the facebook since last few days, and yet i can have access to my blog, the elearning portal, my boyfriend's friendster, other people's blogs.. sometimes i feel like talking to someone badly but i dont know who to talk to, who will understand, wanted to send a msg to dena on the facebook, but cant even access the facebook website so how lor? :(

sometimes i feel like living in utp is like living in hell, the name is UNIVERSITI TEKNOLOGI PETRONAS but the internet connection here is very slow its like the internet from the stone age!!!!!! nama jak teknologi but the technology here sucks!!

i already start to whine like mad again, am i.

talking about hell, i once read about the hell having sub-hells, its like u have 7 rings of hell. the 1st ring is where u receive the littlest punishments, well mayb like you have to run without your feet and eat shit something like that, and the degree of the punishment gets higher as the numbers go. so the 7th ring of hell is like the most horrible place mayb, what with you being frozen (and naked) and not able to cry at all because when you cry your tears will be droplets of ice because the place is so cold or some kind of horrible punishments that even us humans cant imagine. i guess utp is like the 4th ring of hell, but with my friends and boyfriend with me it made utp move to the upper ring of hell, mayb 3rd? but muslims are not supposed to believe this, i guess. hehe

i was supposed to wake up earlier around 7 am but i went to bed only at 3am so i slept like a log and when boyfriend called to wake me up i didnt wake up and he was mad. i promised him a breakfast today huhu im so sorry sayang..

then when i woke up its already 830am and i was like shit, he must be mad having to wait for me for 3 hours huhuhuhu. but i cooked breakfast for him (and his roommate) and my roommate immediately nonethelss, coz i promised him already and i hate to break promises that i made. i made scrambled eggs, chicken ham and cheese sandwich and fried beef frankfurters which turned out to be wavy after i fried them (arent hot dogs supposed to be straight in shape?), hell, it would be better if i boil them but i was in a rush coz i want to give it to him but i know he wont want to see me so how am i going to give it to him? so in the end i gave it to his roommate instead huhuhu... but then what can i do, it was my mistake after all i have to deal with it.

(a small voice in me said; but i cant sleep last night because my tonsils felt very painful, he should understand why i stayed up and at least show some sympathy because im sick yadayadayadayada *slaps self*)

ive been feeling excited about this person, (which i probably should not) but it has been so long since i feel like this about someone, its a nice feeling and i cant help but to say he's cute! :P. dena or nora or atul would understand sigh

anyway, my parents were in town yesterday, and i was like why didnt they visit me here?? utp is only 3 hours away. well, maybe i should not bother them just to see me huhu..

me : can u come visit me here please? (i cant believe i have to beg them to visit me)
mother : we cant dear, we have something to do before we get back home
me : but i want you guys to meet my.. umm... friend......
mother : who? your boyfriend is it? you dont need to have a boyfriend now dear, why dont you just concentrate on ur studies for the time being..
me:...... (what the hell was i thinking when i said that, i know my mother wont be interested in my love life now)

so you see, boyfriend and i have a serious relationship, we planned on our future already (sikit2) and who cares if he is not from sarawak.... imagine if i tell my mother that

possible situation 1

me : mother, ive already found someone who i want to marry and live with someday. he's from......
mother : what!!!! you're still 19 and you want to marry already???
me : not marry now la mother, im just telling.....
mother : dear, you just focus on your study now okay, you dont need other distractions i want you to get higher gpa next sem, remember you already promised me!
me : alright, mother........

possible situation 2

me : mother, ive already found someone who i want to marry and live with some......
mother : shush shush shush, im not accepting this nonsense, you are still a student!
me : .......

well probably this wont happen coz mother always listen to what i have to say first hehe.

possible situation 3

me : mother, ive already found someone who i want to marry and live with someday. he's from johor.....
mother : he's from johor? why do you have to find someone so far? ive told you that once you're married i want you to stay in kuching, so you have to persuade him to stay here and live here (more like migrate to kuching terusssss)

(but.... but..... but..... his mother said to him that once he's married he have to live in mersing, so how? ha ha ha..... nvm mayb we'll live some place else other than kuching or mersing, that way, everything will be fair)

me : ........... (worried already) haha

but its a long way to go, so we dont have to worry about that.

ish, im tired!!!!!!!!!!!!! want to be with my bantal busuk now. bye