trust issues

i dont get it why my father wont allow me to drive his car. its an mpv so u can guess the size of the car and i understand his worries about me driving a big car. i was a bit disappointed this morning as there was some emergency and i volunteered myself to drive the car but he asked my uncle instead. i mean, ive proven that im responsible enough, being his eldest daughter but i still cant get it. but honestly ive driven the car for more than a couple of times already and i handled it well, on top of that i never did anything to gain his mistrust or anything ive never even been in an accident some more, so why does he have to practically ban me from the steering wheel? ...apart from the fact that i dont have my licence yet. urgh, does it matter? driving licence is just a piece of laminated paper, it wont guarantee ur driving skills. you hv to agree me on this, because it seems like im the only one who doesnt have a driving licence yet. grrr....

one more thing that bugs me is these images of my boyfriend going out with another girl and kissing her and touching her and.... dont get me started. this images keep popping in my head i cant stop it and i have the feeling that sayang doesnt want to reply my sms, tho he replied it most of the times but reluctantly i guess. i just might as well tell him and get this worries over with but i dont dare to ask him for fear that he might think that im doubting him which is true, right? i mean whats up with that, he never did anything wrong that makes me doubt him but the little insecure feeling grew to a paranoia since i arrived at kuching. and his reluctance of replying my sms and answering my cal makes me feel like my theory is true than ever T_T

and since sayang has so many girl friends... T_T

and he's lonely, now that im not there.. T_T

surely he needs female companion..

and go out with one of his girl friend...

and the innocent hanging out becomes something more... T_T

what if he leaves me for the girl... T_T

im getting far already..

now, u see what i mean by being paranoid???

and to think that im going to be farther away than him tomorrow because i going to sabah to attend my cousin's wedding. its ironic, bcoz her ex is going to get married in kedah on the exact same day. i wonder if they did it on purpose. hah.

im tired. like literally tired. its not even the 5th day in kuching and yet im off to sabah.

*double sigh*